Monday, 13 April 2009

6th Post - Possible 2nd thoughts

Anybody reading this and is still in 2 minds about having the op, as big a decision as this is, it will be the right one. The quality of life you will have after the operation to me is too hard to grasp as yet. (bearing in mind it isn’t even 2 weeks since I had the op) no more worrying about where the nearest toilet is, or if you can wear that outfit because you are again bloated or the fear factor of wherever you go is that toilet going to be free and not just that but clean. All these things in a few months time will be eradicated from my life and I can not begin to tell you how that makes me feel. That ball and chain has gone forever.

My new surgeon who carried out this operation, I only started seeing him in February 2009 and from the 1st consultation, I had my colonoscopy less than 2 weeks after we went back for our results and he said that it was worse that what he thought and couldn’t afford for me to have this operation in a few months time or even a months time because I was due for another flare up and a bad one by the sound of things. The surgeon then arranged for me to have the operation in March 2009 with my consent of course.

I couldn’t believe it not even a month since meeting him and he had done more for me than that rubbish consultant did in 3.5 years.

The Stoma Nurse who visited me recently told me that if I wouldn’t have had this operation when I did, within 10 years I would have had no choice as the risk of getting bowel cancer would have been far greater. Not an easy thing to hear but Thank God I have had it done.

My surgeon who I couldn’t recommend highly enough by the way, said to me before I had the surgery - ‘2 things my patients say to me having had the op is 1 - no more looking for a toilet whilst out in public and 2 - they wish they had known about the surgery long before’ doesn’t that sum it up perfectly for people who still are not sure about having this operation.

I remember coming round from the operation., apart from been extremely drowsy I can’t remember been in that much pain. To me the pain isn’t as bad as when I have eaten something that hasn’t agreed and rushing to the toilet, that is pain the feeling sick, hot sweats not really knowing what to do with yourself. That I found more painful than the actual immediate afterwards.

I wont lie and say that you’re not in any discomfort because of course you are, I suffered terribly with my shoulder which sounds silly but I had trapped wind in it and that pain was worse than the stoma and the pain in your muscles put together, it was bloody horrible, but its not just you going through this which I have hopefully made sure my family know. Yes it was me who had the surgery but the aftermath the emotional turmoil, you know as much as me, you don’t or wont want to see anybody you love in any pain and discomfort and that is what they see day after day if you’re not lucky. It is really hard to see somebody in pain and feel so helpless.

I didn’t see that they were helpless, they were doing more than they thought, just been there gave me a boost. Danny didn’t leave my side in the 5 days or the years before hand, he has been through this with me every step of the way, which hasn’t been easy, but we have got through it and it has made us stronger for it. I have the utmost respect for that man, for how he has dealt with it and kept me strong and positive, a lot wouldn’t have he definitely is my rock! I couldn’t have got through this without him or any of my family.

1 comment:

  1. Both me and Dave have been reading your blog and we both didnt fully understand what you are going through.

    Stay strong, you are doing really well and don't forget if you need anything we are only next door.

    Keep on with your blog i'm sure it will help you a little as well as others.

    Love Debs.