1 Year on - April 2011

Hello everyone! It has been a long long time since I last blogged and wasnt sure if I would again to be honest, but because i'm still receiving such lovely messages from people taking the time to read it, I thought I would. A lot has happened really, like it does in everybodys life over a year. Im still in good health, I do still struggle with eating certain things and have trouble with my BM, but on the whole I am healthy and my surgeon is happy with me also. I went through a time awhile ago, with been extremely constipated for days at a time, which you makes you feel crappy, so I took the decision to stop taking my tablets altogether and I haven't been on them for at least 6 months. I went to see my surgeon to make sure he wouldn't have a problem with this, which he didn't. I did think however I would have seen more of a result than what I have coming off them completely, but I haven't. It definitely isnt worse, but not much better either! I knew I had to have my operations, and from my previous posts, you will see that I didn't have a decision in it really, but with that has caused a lot of problems with regards to my fertility. This isn't an easy thing to blog about, but some of my other posts werent either. We have been trying for a family for 8 months or so, and I told my surgeon I was having problems and he referred me to a fertility surgeon who has taken me on as his patient and has run tests and scans and found that I have a frozen pelvis, due to the operations I have had previously has now caused a lot of scarring which with another operation may rectify or make worse, so I have decided if I can help it I don't want anymore operations, but because of this we now need IVF!! I am / We are together going through a lot of different emotions and it hasnt even started yet. I'm so angry that my first surgeon left me as long as he did, because if he hadn,t maybe I would have been saved from the amount I did go through, with the operations and that would have prevented all the scarring inside, and ultimately left me able to have a child naturally. I'm so scared because of the emotional, and physical turmoil it is going to have on me and our relationship. Not feeling too great at the minute and i'm really glad that they have councillors available to us, because I feel very vunerable about the whole thing. The 1st 2 weeks I felt positive and ready for it, but another range of emotions has pushed through now, which is doubt and anger and are we going to be strong enough to go through it. Hopefully and i'm sure I will feel more in control of things when we are fully up on it. I don't want to the profit of doom for anybody, but the reality is it could happen to any woman who has gone through the same operations if not caught earlier enough and been prepared for it, may just make it more bearable. I certainly didn't expect nor was it explained to me that this may happen. So in my reality I have got over 2 hurdles and now i'm on to my biggest and most fundamental one of my life and i'm petrified at the thought of it. I wish everybody a successful journey and hope that my outcome isn't going to be yours.

22nd Post - Some days

Happy New Year to you all. I hope your roads to recovery are good ones.

It's been a couple of months since I lost blogged, and I think I get it now.

What I mean is i've worked out what works for me food & drink wise and what doesn't. Typically some of the food I love I have trouble with, especially mushrooms and beans. I try and keep a healthy diet on the whole, but a lot of the Salad food is hard to digest, tomatoes, onion, salad on occasions, sweetcorn which leaves it quite limited. I used to have beans on toast for my breakfast and I can't have them anymore. I know this is not a big deal compared to what we have put up with in the past, more of an annoyance.

I used to drink about 2 litres of water a day at work from the filter machine, for some reason that water gives me griping pain and I always need to go the toilet within 5 minutes of drinking it, it is the same with water from the tap at home. I now buy 5 litre bottles of water and fill the kettle up with that and drink that and so far that has really helped. Luckily the large bottles of water aren't expensive, so it doesnt add much on to our food bills.

It has been 9 nonths now, since I had my first op, and my surgeon did say I would have a low immune system, so I would probably pick up infections quite regularly, and I have, I have had flu and colds and larangitis and chest infections. I've been ill just after Christmas with a 48 hour bug which made me vomit several times a day, thankfully now I feel well again, but I think I should start taking some vitamin tablets or something, see if that helps combat it.

I've got in to a routine with going to the bathroom also. Always on a morning and lately at work, I start at 8 and I have only needed to go once at 2 which still amazes me. It takes some serious getting used to. I've been out on a family walk over Christmas in the Yorkshire Dales and on the way up there I was getting quite agitated thinking about if I was in the middle of a field and urgently needed to use the toilet, I needed had bothered I didn't drink a great deal but it never bothered me, I got there and used the pub bathroom but we were out for hours and I was normal like everybody else. It was a good feeling. Maybe those feelings don't leave you but that they just get less and less as time goes on.

21st Post - The aftermath

Since the last time I wrote my blog, one or two things has been happening to me.

Firstly me and Danny was out with some friends, and I was asked how long I had been off work, I told him that I went back full time after 3 weeks, he couldn't believe it, and then it dawned on me, just how quickly everything has happened. I have dealt with the physical pain and feelings towards the operation and everything that goes with it, but now I am starting to feel the emotional feelings towards it too and feel quite overwhelmed when I think about it.

I have been looking through photo's since I have been out of hospital, in the early stages when I was still a lot thinner and how my scar looked to how it looks now, and I can't quite believe it was only little over 6 months ago since the 1st operation, it's crazy!

I still get a real buzz out of doing my blog, when I receive lovely comments from people who have taken the time to read it, and hope sincerely that people can take something from it and it does help.

I hope next time I blog, that this is another stage I have gone through and moved on from. I think I just need to give myself time to think about it and absorb everything that has happened and also feel proud of going through it and coming through it stronger, just like everybody else who is going through or will be going through the same thing should think of themselves.

We all deserve a big pat on the back.

20th Post - 3 months plus since the last op

Well it has been a while since I have last updated my blog, because to be honest there wasn't an awful lot to report.

I am back at work full time and have just fallen back into the usual routine with no major hiccups. It is good to be back to my usual routine, even though it's hard getting up on a morning, no change at all there!

I can eat pretty much anything I like, enjoy alcohol, and no urgency to use the toilet. It's been the best thing I have ever done and am feeling on top form.

Since I came out of hospital, I have started with restless leg, which is bloody awful. Only in bed though just as I am about to sleep, it starts spasaming and keeps me awake, which is really annoying. At first I thought it was quite funny but now it's just more annoying than anything.

I went for a massage at my Auntie's recently, to see if that would help. My consultation before hand I realised that I have been drinking too much fizzy drinks and I haven't got good circulation
which I keep on meaning to do some exercise which should help, but as yet it is just a good intention.

I laid off the fizzy drinks and that seems to have helped, but it isn't consistent so I can go a few weeks without it and all of a sudden it comes back.

I go and see my consultant next Tuesday, don't really have a lot to ask him since last time I saw him. I don't have any issues I can think of.

19th Post - Replies to comments.

Hello Membership Required,

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and I am glad it was of some interest to you. I'm not sure how to reply to you so I thought I'd just post it! I hope this is OK. If you send me your email address I can reply whenever needed.

The answer to your question about the steroids is thankfully no. No asacol or enemas or iron tablets in my case. The only thing I did and am continuing to take is imodium 4 times a day which is a massive relief.

I recovered quite quickly after my 1st operation, the first 2 weeks were the hardest and then, things start getting easier. My consultant thought I would have my stoma bag for 10 -12 weeks, but I bounced back quicker than I think he expected and I had the stoma bag off after 7 weeks.

The 2nd operation took me about a week to start feeling better. I can't stress enough how important it is to keep active, because even though it was a quicker recovery time I did suffer with back ache and cramp and the consultant said that was caused by not having any exercise. The total recovery time my consultant said would probably be 12 months but that can differ. I am hoping it will be before that, but that's because I am inpatient. Already though I can pretty much eat what I want, yes I do still need to go to the toilet quite frequently but I can hold it, so it definintely doesnt restrict me from doing anything.

I will definitely keep upto my blog and thank you again for taking the time out to leave a comment. I wish you all the best for the future and a speedy recovery. If there is anything else I can help you with please feel free to drop me another email. I'd love to hear from you and I will try and help you as much as I can.

I hope the above has answered your questions. Sorry I don't know your name, but best wishes to you and your family! Love Natalie.